Over the past few months I've found myself seeking out old high school friends. I was the only student from my graduating class to attend Texas Tech and after graduating from Tech, I lived in Scotland for a year. It did not take long to lose touch with my once close friends. Many of them moved to Dallas so they weren't even home when I returned to El Paso for visits.
Recently, however, I have regretted letting those relationship go. I have begun to track people down over the Internet and through other friends. I wasn't sure what was driving this behavior until last night.
Dr. Burg and I had dinner with my once very close friend, Jando and his wife. It was good to be with him again and to catch up on the last 17 years. We told stories of our high school years. I reminded him of the cockroach I found in my tennis shoe in biology class. He reminded me of the day we met and the way my dog would cry when its fingernails were cut.
We then told the story of Gayle and Paul. Gayle was my friend from church. We had gone on mission trips together and been roomies at Triennium (an tri-annual Presbyterian youth conference). Paul was his childhood friend. They played pool and ran around getting in trouble together. May senior year, Paul shot and killed Gayle. He dumped her body in the desert, along with her husbands. Although, Jando and I knew we shared this story it wasn't until last night with our spouses present that we told the story and wondered at the way we were connected.
As the evening came to a close (sadly before midnight - we must be getting old), I realized that Jando had been carrying some of my memories and I was doing the same for him. As we talked we uncovered a little more of our past. We laughed until our bellies ached and finally after 18 years talked about our deep pain and the loss of both Gayle and Paul.
As I get older and create a new home for myself in new and far-a-way lands, I'm finding that there is a part of me that needs to stay rooted and grounded to the past. I have an adventurous soul but at the same time, I need to connect to the memories, even those I no longer carry for myself.
great post, lb. we do need to connect with those who hold our memories from time to time. i've been reconnecting with folks a lot in the last year and it has been very helpful- a gift. i'm glad you had this time with jando. and that you helped each other remember the joyful and the painful. i'm so sorry to hear about gayle and paul.
peace to you.
Posted by: more cows than people | January 02, 2008 at 09:31 AM
If you stay grounded... the waters deep in your past... will feed you... and you will be able to flourish. In flourishing... you will be able to nourish others.
Posted by: PK | January 02, 2008 at 01:05 PM