I know I almost hit her. It scared me maybe more than it scared her. She was in my blind-spot. I checked but I didn't see her. Fortunately, I saw her just in time and swerved out of her lane. I gave her what I think of as the universal sign for both "I'm sorry" and "thanks." You know, the right arm raised in a little wave. I wanted to stay out of her way but I still needed to move into the left lane. I needed to turn. I was headed to work and work requires that particular left turn. So I pulled in front of her and turned left. She honked for what seemed like the 10th time and flipped me off. So angry. I hadn't meant to hurt her or scare her and yes, I know what it feels like to have someone unexpectedly move into your lane. It is very upsetting. But I didn't mean it. I simply didn't see her.
Today I watched a guy on a bike pull up to an intersection. He stopped and motioned a car to go ahead, all the while looking very pissed off. I watched as he crossed in front of me obviously talking to all motorists. As he made his last sprint across the street he raised his hand and flipped us all off. He was so angry and yet none of us were out of place. We were simply obeying the same traffic lights he was subject to.
It occurred to me as I watched both incidents that such anger was unnecessary and in the end affected only those who were angry. Life is full of people pulling out in front of you. Life is full of cars and yes, this makes biking more dangerous, but is it worth the health of your own spirit? Does it warrant such fury?
I too have yelled and even flipped-off drivers, but in the end I feel no better. I am left shaking with fury. My spirit feels hollow. The anger is not worth it. Sure, there are times when one must be angry and act with righteous indignation, but surely a young woman in a blue Honda that obviously did not mean to come into your lane does not deserve your fury. Surely she is not worth that much energy.
well said. it is good to have you back.
Posted by: more cows than people | July 31, 2008 at 10:43 PM
When I encounter folks like that... tt makes me wonder... how they avoid having a stroke as soon as they get out of bed.
You are soooo right... the anger just isn't worth it. I can remember being an angry driver... flipping people off... but now I just mutter under my breath... and I'm working on not even letting it bother me. I don't know if I'll ever get there... but I'm trying.
Posted by: PK | August 01, 2008 at 07:54 PM
ah indeed - such truth. here is my struggle - it is easy to see that anger in others but not so much in myself! but i'll keep trying
Posted by: Kerri PD | August 08, 2008 at 11:52 PM
I hear you, KerriPD. A few years ago I was furious and yelling at a driver in front of me. They didn't make the turn or something. I can't remember why i was so mad. Anyway, when the light turned, they went into the church parking garage. It was a church member. Fortunately, she had not seen me yelling at her. It did make me stop yelling at people near the church. :) But still, it is sometimes hard to check your own anger.
Posted by: LadyBurg | August 09, 2008 at 04:43 PM
I chuckled with your "universal sign." I remember doing that once in a similar situation - based on their reaction I think they thought I was blowing it off as no big deal. Which, of course, made them more angry.
If someone comes up with a sign that basically says, "I'm so sorry, I screwed up, my bad, forgive me," let me know and I'll add it to my repertoire!
Posted by: Steve Lindsley | August 26, 2008 at 10:24 PM